Disgusted by Sex

[scameter]

As a warning, please excuse any adult or obscene content in this post. If it bothers you, please feel free to ignore it. I am curious why it is that a very few people, of all ages and I presume both genders (though I only have heard of it from the male side) would some aspects of sex, such as sperm, the odors and fluids produced during sex such as sweat and semen, the swapping of spit and germs and the tastes of the things one has eaten through kissing, and other aspects of sex, make one feel nauseous or disgusted? That doesn't seem very good for evolution/survival to me, if one is disgusted by reproductive aspects. Anyone have any ideas?

[Akamu]

Originally Posted by scameter

As a warning, please excuse any adult or obscene content in this post. If it bothers you, please feel free to ignore it. I am curious why it is that people, of all ages and I presume both genders (though I only have heard of it from the male side) would some aspects of sex, such as sperm, the odors and fluids produced during sex such as sweat and semen, the swapping of spit and germs and the tastes of the things one has eaten through kissing, and other aspects of sex, make one feel nauseous or disgusted? That doesn't seem very good for evolution/survival to me, if one is disgusted by reproductive aspects. Anyone have any ideas?

Hmm, maybe I didn't understand you clearly, but it sounds like you are saying most people are disgusted by the aforementioned aspects of sex? I know of very few people who are disgusted by sex. Before I provide an answer, I just want to make sure I am getting a clear picture of what you are saying.

[scameter]

I'm sorry, I should have said some people, for I have only encountered a few people who do, I'll edit the post.

[Akamu]

Originally Posted by scameter

I'm sorry, I should have said some people, for I have only encountered a few people who do, I'll edit the post.

Thanks...that's better. I wasn't trying to be nit picky, I just wasn't sure how to respond. In that case, here I go.

I believe there are several possible reasons why one may regard sex to be disgusting. But it really depends what angle you are coming from. I think there are explanations scientifically, philosophically, and religiously; but since you seem to be inquiring from an evolutionary standpoint, I will try and address it scientifically.

The community of people you are referring to ( I say "community" because many of these people have recognized that aspect of themselves and have undertaken a title that unites them: Asexual. Google it and you will find there are entire websites and forums where they accumulate and discuss the nature of their preferences) Identify themselves with their own "orientation," just as the homosexuals, bisexuals, and heterosexuals do. The question you are asking would also inquire to the existence of gays and lesbians as well since by "not being good for survival/evolution" you seem to mean that their existence is in contradiction to the perpetuation of the species. I don't know if this speculation remains in the parameters of science, but look at what happens and has happened throughout history when the population reaches a breaking point? Natural disasters, outbreaks of disease, wars, famine, etc. The preference not to mate (or not to mate in a way that would yield offspring) may very well be an evolutionary means of population control. I'm not saying that gays, lesbians, asexuals are a recent development; as there have been these groups of people throughout human history. I do know that scientists have noted homosexuality and asexuality in other species of animals as well and that some of their claims have also been natural population control.

The aforementioned speculation may or may not be sound, but it is the only explanation I can come up with from a scientific standpoint without coming out and saying that these differentiations in the species are simply a natural mistake (I, for one, don't really believe this to be so).

[scameter]

I don't either. Generally, nature doesn't make mistakes. But, I think you make a good point regarding natural population control. Though, I wouldn't really call what I'm talking about asexuality, necessarily, because those people who feel as I described, one of which being myself occasionally, enjoy sexuality as much as any other sexual person, but simply will on occasion become nauseous when encountered with the things I described in my original post. For instance, while I enjoy looking at women, thinking about them, masturbating, etc., the sperm resulting from ejaculation will sometimes make me nauseous, as can the perspiration and other bodily things that result from the sexual act, which of course occurs in masturbation and intercourse. Another speculation about the reason for my nausea could be that, when sperm is seen outside the body, it may make one nauseous because it is meant to be inside a body, whether the man's body or, post-ejaculation, inside the woman's vagina. Perhaps it is nature's way of conserving sperm, so to speak. Again, excuse the blatant or obscene subject matter, I just want to be honest and open about this.

[Akamu]

Originally Posted by scameter

I don't either. Generally, nature doesn't make mistakes. But, I think you make a good point regarding natural population control. Though, I wouldn't really call what I'm talking about asexuality, necessarily, because those people who feel as I described, one of which being myself occasionally, enjoy sexuality as much as any other sexual person, but simply will on occasion become nauseous when encountered with the things I described in my original post. For instance, while I enjoy looking at women, thinking about them, masturbating, etc., the sperm resulting from ejaculation will sometimes make me nauseous, as can the perspiration and other bodily things that result from the sexual act, which of course occurs in masturbation and intercourse. Another speculation about the reason for my nausea could be that, when sperm is seen outside the body, it may make one nauseous because it is meant to be inside a body, whether the man's body or, post-ejaculation, inside the woman's vagina. Perhaps it is nature's way of conserving sperm, so to speak. Again, excuse the blatant or obscene subject matter, I just want to be honest and open about this.

I'm sure you'll find no one will be offended by sexual vocabulary here :-P

You make an interesting point about bodily fluids such as semen being seen "out of its place." This could very well be likened unto blood. Blood is our life-giving liquid, however it disgusts people when it is seen outside the body because that is not where it belongs as it would be indicative of pain, suffering, and death.

As for sex specifically, I will come right out and say I am self-described asexual. All aspects of sex disgust me. I wonder though, which human is more "unnatural"; the one who glorifies sex and sees it as a magical act, or the one who sees it as the continuous friction of genitals and the expulsion of sticky, smelly, bodily fluid? I am not trying to place myself above those who enjoy sex at all. All I am saying is that it seems like the glorification of sex is just nature's trick to make sure we have a lot of babies. We are simply dogs who get a bone (no pun intended) every time we participate in intercourse. (by bone, I mean a chemical reward...ie endorphins) It seems to me like those who dislike sex see it for what it is instead of allowing nature to trick them into partaking in the event.

[scameter]

Akamu:I'm sure you'll find no one will be offended by sexual vocabulary here :-P

Probably not, I just wanted to make sure.

Akamu:You make an interesting point about bodily fluids such as semen being seen "out of its place." This could very well be likened unto blood.

Yes, very good reference. And, interestingly, things such as urine and feces do not make one nauseous in the same way exposed blood and/or semen might, and I think that is because whereas the former two make one disgusted because they are bad for the body and need to be outside of it, the latter two need to be inside of a body, whether one's own or someone else's.

Akamu:I wonder though, which human is more "unnatural"; the one who glorifies sex and sees it as a magical act, or the one who sees it as the continuous friction of genitals and the expulsion of sticky, smelly, bodily fluid?

Honestly, I don't think either one is unnatural, nor is anything else that comes from physical existence/nature. I think that both are simply caused by different things. As my speculation, unbiased hopefully, is: whereas the sexual person glorifies sex because of the body's desire to reproduce, the pleasure of the sexual act used by the body as a motivator for the person to have sex, the latter asexual person is disgusted by every aspect of sex because of any number of causes, such as bad past experiences with sexuality, the possibility of an internal chemical imbalance or distortion of a natural reaction such as disgust resulting from seeing semen outside the body for some people, from one's own personal self-conditioning to dislike sex for any number of individual reasons, or perhaps because of one's external conditioning from other people that the body, especially sex, is wrong or unsanitary. Those are just my speculations though.

Akamu:It seems to me like those who dislike sex see it for what it is instead of allowing nature to trick them into partaking in the event.

That is one interpretation. Or, perhaps, those who dislike sex do not, in fact, dislike sex itself, but dislike any feeling of domination that they do not choose, whether caused by their environment or their own body/brain, including the body using chemical/emotional trickery to entice one into having sex, and thus attempt to avoid that domination. It actually seems like a possible origin for Platonist sexuality, which led to much of the later Christian/Catholic anti-sex beliefs, despite the fact that the Bible does not actually espouse that view, among others the church misunderstood it to have.

[Akamu]

Scameter: Honestly, I don't think either one is unnatural, nor is anything else that comes from physical existence/nature. I think that both are simply caused by different things.

Perhaps "unnatural" was the wrong word. The point I mean to convey is that sexual desire is chemically induced and does not allow the human being an "unbiased" observation of the situation. You always hear the argument of reason vs. passion; "What the mind weaves, by passion is undone." etc. It is of my opinion that sexual passion is far more empty than some make it out to be. Of course, I am biased, having admitted my position. You were speaking of our experience of the world and capacity to contemplate it being a by-product of the soul. I can agree in a fashion and will tie it to this thread by claiming reason is a product of a higher form of ourselves than the sex drive. Reason being of the soul or whatever the essence is that makes us human, and sexual passion/desire being of the body. However, I may be straying off-topic a bit since we were supposed to be speaking in scientific terms.

You are right about there being a multitude of possible explanations for one shunning sex. I will be the first to admit that I am not completely aware of the source of my aversion. The human psyche is infinitely complex and it would take an equal amount of holistic knowledge to unlock its mysteries. But I stand by that if one steps away from their chemically induced "high," that they will be able to see sex for what it is. I wonder how different the world would be if everyone only partook in sex based on aspirations of reason. Right now, we have those irresponsible people who are slaves to their hormones perpetually pumping out babies who in turn grow up to be as misguided as their parents (not all, of course) thus, contributing to the perpetual cycle. I ask you if you think it would be beneficial to us as human beings if sex were a 100% conscious choice made by reason and not influenced by the "reward: center of our brains?

[Trevor]

Originally Posted by scameter

As a warning, please excuse any adult or obscene content in this post. If it bothers you, please feel free to ignore it. I am curious why it is that a very few people, of all ages and I presume both genders (though I only have heard of it from the male side) would some aspects of sex, such as sperm, the odors and fluids produced during sex such as sweat and semen, the swapping of spit and germs and the tastes of the things one has eaten through kissing, and other aspects of sex, make one feel nauseous or disgusted? That doesn't seem very good for evolution/survival to me, if one is disgusted by reproductive aspects. Anyone have any ideas?

Ha, ha, ha. I think it is more of some people like chocolate ice cream and some people like vanilla.
Or maybe even just the idea makes some people physically and emotionally disturbed without themselves understanding the why behind it. Variety is normal I think.

[Akamu]

Originally Posted by Trevor

Ha, ha, ha. I think it is more of some people like chocolate ice cream and some people like vanilla.
Or maybe even just the idea makes some people physically and emotionally disturbed without themselves understanding the why behind it. Variety is normal I think.

Hmm, but wouldn't that suggest that you are claiming that sexual orientation is a preference or a choice? While it is possible someone could will themselves to be appalled by sex, I don't think this is the case for a majority. I, for one, did not elect to be how that I am in my attitude regarding sex. But after observing and analyzing my feelings about it, I find certain advantages in my case (for me, not necessarily advantages over those who are sexual in general). In revealing these advantages, I am simultaneously drilling my attitude deeper into my being via positive reinforcement. Such is also the case with those who partake in and enjoy sexual intercourse.

I agree that variety is normal, you can't dispute that given the vast spectrum of human diversity. However, what sets humans apart from other sentient beings is our ability to be rational...perhaps we are called to pick up where natural selection left off and use our reason to further our evolution. Succumbing to every passion and impulse is a step backwards IMO. I am of course not saying every human besides those who have an aversion to sex act in such an animalistic way; just that there are enough of them out there to impede our evolution.