cycles of mind...

[liquidharmony]

I closely study many different religions and philosophies and realize i will never completely follow one. however I strive for enlightenment and can sometimes be hard on myself when i feel I have strayed from "the correct path." It seems the more removed I become from my self, the more my self fights to remain. i can go months in a thought process that feels beautiful and simple only to have the whole process revert right back to where i began. in part I blame it on my own fear of being removed form certain social aspects, never because i am no longer accepted, but because I no longer frequent these events. But I never seem to be aware of the process taking place until one day I think back and say how did I end up right back where I started. my enlightened views seem to be the easiest to forget. If I must have a self, I would like it to be free of influence. Free of buddha, god, my friends, celebrities, or anyone else who could express thought. Is this possible if i listen to these thoughts? sometimes I think i should take off my clothes and live in the woods. I could commit 100 percent if I knew what to commit to.

sorry for the over use of "I" but it reflects my current state.:wallbash:

[...]

I closely study many different religions and philosophies and realize i will never completely follow one. however I strive for enlightenment and can sometimes be hard on myself when i feel I have strayed from "the correct path." It seems the more removed I become from my self, the more my self fights to remain. i can go months in a thought process that feels beautiful and simple only to have the whole process revert right back to where i began. in part I blame it on my own fear of being removed form certain social aspects, never because i am no longer accepted, but because I no longer frequent these events. But I never seem to be aware of the process taking place until one day I think back and say how did I end up right back where I started. my enlightened views seem to be the easiest to forget. If I must have a self, I would like it to be free of influence. Free of buddha, god, my friends, celebrities, or anyone else who could express thought. Is this possible if i listen to these thoughts? sometimes I think i should take off my clothes and live in the woods. I could commit 100 percent if I knew what to commit to.

sorry for the over use of "I" but it reflects my current state.:wallbash:

..you are locked in a classic conundrum: the process of freeing onesself from self only emphasises self, and steers you away from the goal of freeing onesself from self :lol:

..but we are led to believe there's something outside of self, something better than self; a better way of being. You are finding out this is not necessarily true. Let me ask you: what are you expecting to find once you've freed yourself from yourself?

[serenofsoul]

I closely study many different religions and philosophies and realize i will never completely follow one. however I strive for enlightenment and can sometimes be hard on myself when i feel I have strayed from "the correct path." It seems the more removed I become from my self, the more my self fights to remain. i can go months in a thought process that feels beautiful and simple only to have the whole process revert right back to where i began. in part I blame it on my own fear of being removed form certain social aspects, never because i am no longer accepted, but because I no longer frequent these events. But I never seem to be aware of the process taking place until one day I think back and say how did I end up right back where I started. my enlightened views seem to be the easiest to forget. If I must have a self, I would like it to be free of influence. Free of buddha, god, my friends, celebrities, or anyone else who could express thought. Is this possible if i listen to these thoughts? sometimes I think i should take off my clothes and live in the woods. I could commit 100 percent if I knew what to commit to.

sorry for the over use of "I" but it reflects my current state.:wallbash:

Don't forget the reason you started searching for the truths given by different religions and philosophies in the first place but it is not a goal that is accomplished easily especially when all truths are but half truths. Your thoughts inspired by the many aspects you've uncovered do not give exact instructions on what you should be doing with them because you must find your own way. Being that all truths are but half truths it's up to you to sort out and understand for yourself what purpose you are destined for. Also remember that the path of elightenment is ongoing throughout your life and all experiences in your life aid that journey no matter how much it seems not to.

[loveGOD]

Hi friend..., We are all equal because we are all individual. That is why it's important to find the You. Truth is not to be handled, "only accepted.". Hide and seek with truth, the game has been going on from day one. Truth may set You free if you ask to be let go. I've done my best to kill that part of me that gets caught up in that game. The truth is not out there really, it's in all manner of things, the most interesting being You. So many outside doors and only one inside door. You may commit to slow down and stop that bouncing ball of energy that may contain You. Peace-n-Joy ...

[liquidharmony]

Thanks for the responses. insightful as always.

... i wish I could find the words to explain what i hope to find. I've been lucky enough to have been given an understanding, very small and vague, but still an understanding that there is reason for me to search. i just hope to find whats there. maybe to stop searching.

serenofsoul, thank you! I have not forgotten my reasons. At times i feel im a slave to them. I was free as a child,and even for a time after, before i had to begin searching. Now there always has to be a compromise.

[...]

... i wish I could find the words to explain what i hope to find. I've been lucky enough to have been given an understanding, very small and vague, but still an understanding that there is reason for me to search. i just hope to find whats there. maybe to stop searching.



..many people enjoy the search so much, it's not in their best interest to stop searching. That does not mean they'll ever find what their searching for though. So what if all of this did lead to you stopping the search? What then?