Koans

[redraven]

The first one is a western Koan:

There is a young man brought to a hospital, and the doctor goes to do emergency surgery. The doctor takes off the gloves and says, "I am this man's parent, I can not do the surgery." But the doctor was not the young man's father.

Don't tell if you've already heard this one. I want to see some people get it in a flash.

The second one is usually the first one given at a monastery:

The teacher was well-known, that anytime someone answered a question. He would hold up a finger. A young zealous monk went to him with many questions, and always the teacher held up his finger. One day, the zealous monk was asked a question. He held up his finger. The master immediately cut his finger off, and the young man was grasping his hand in pain, and asked "Why did you do that to me?" The master held up one finger, and the zealous monk was enlightened.

The third one is given to those who are irritating at the monastery, and isn't a nice koan, but it's also very funny:

The master had just given a discourse on the Unborn. The young student asked his master "Where does the Unborn come from, where does it reside, and where does it go to?" His master's answer "I have a $50 shirt that has just been cleaned on the other side of town."

Give me some answers, or if no one posts, I'll just post them on Sunday.

Happy Poya Day! :unsure: :think:

[redraven]

I thought 0f my own little koan today, after reflecting briefly on my last satori experience:

A zealous monk was called up after meditation. "I have a gift for you. But first you must do these twelve tasks." The zealous monk went out to the fields and planted rice, he swept and cleaned the stables, he reorganized the scrolls in the library, he took care of the young monks, he baled hay for the cows, he milked the cows, he cleaned the cows, he read his scriptures, he studied his sanskrit, he performed his meditation, he made his devotions to the kami, he went and got his master's laundry, he folded the laundry for the other monks, and he cooked their food.

When he got done he was very tired and he went to the master, and the master handed him a bowl of rice. "Where is my gift?" said the zealous monk. The master motioned to the bowl of rice. "I did all of that for a bowl of rice?" said the zealous monk. "Mu" (meaning emptiness) said the Zen Master. And the zealous monk was enlightened. :lol:

I'm going to edit this and say: I don't say these things to throw zingers at people, I actually think it's very humorous. The first time I figured out the unborn, I don't do koan work because it really requires a teacher, but I read it somewhere and when I figured it out, I basically had a panic attack. I'm an intellectual, but I realized I was being a pseudo-intellectual. That's not the solution to the koan, but it's a hint. Solution for the third one on Saturday and the solutions to the first three on Sunday.

[scameter]

The Western first one I think is that the doctor's a woman?

[redraven]

That is correct sir! She is his mother. Good job!

Here is a description of the fourth one:

First of all we must understand Eastern people. They think in groups. Being singled out is a bad thing. Second, the monk's chores are what all monks do, and we wonder if he would be working as hard as he is always supposed to do if he did not think he is receiving a gift.

Then, he is insubordinate to his teacher. Then, we have the first lesson. He will be a monk all of his life, and do those chores every day, and all he will get is a bowl of rice. All of his dreams of great gifts will amount to nothing. He will get his food, his sleep, and perhaps he will be happier.

But why does the teacher say "mu?" First off, this is a gentle master. I know it sounds harsh, but the zealous monks insubordination is grounds for his exit from the monastery. He says "mu" because it means "emptiness," and what this means is, "all you get is emptiness."

Notice also that the teacher does these things with his body. The zealous monk is talking, but the master is making motions. That bodily action is part of zen. Also, the monk is zealous. It could be a good thing, he tries very hard, or it could be that he sets himself apart from the other monks. The meaning is unclear intentionally, but we can gather that he isn't a very good monk from his words.

There are deeper understandings of this koan, but that is the best description I can give. It's one of the better things I've written I think, but the old koans are better.

[redraven]

Alright.

1. The doctor is his mother. Some people get this quick, but it took me forever to figure it out when I first saw it.
2. This is a pretty simple koan. The master answers with his body, and his answer is authentic, the student answers with his body and it's a mockery, because he doesn't have the real thing. He is enlightened because his bodily experience of pain gives him new eyes to see the master's true answer.
3. First of all, the unborn doesn't come from anywhere, doesn't proceed anywhere, and doesn't reside anywhere. It is eternal emptiness or shunyatta. The master's answer is essentially, "Make yourself useful and go get my laundry." It's the perfect answer for such a psuedo-intellectual question from a monk who doesn't listen. I hear this one causes tears and rage in the Zen monasteries.