Why Is It So Hard?

[TruthSeeker]

This is funny. Well, not!

I spent many years of my life despising the school system and wanting to form a family. Now that I have a wife and a son, all that I want to do is to work. Since my son was born, I was filled with an incredible sense of confidence, self-respect and determination. I just feel like I can do anything I set my mind into. Having a child gave me a sense of self that I had never experienced before. I'm incredibly more outgoing, silly and outspoken since my child was born.:baby:

Now that I have the tools to do great community work and change the world in a positive manner, I should be able to get it going. Unfortunately, instead I'm stuck in a catch 22! Since my child was born, I have only a fraction of free time left! He takes a lot of my time even tough I'm not even the one who is breastfeeding him! (I'm a male, for those who don't know.)

So how nice is that? Why does life work that way? Why do you need to have a child before you can have the wisdom and strenght to change the world and be successful if you have less time!?!? :blink: -_-


(I had the wisdom before, btw, but not the strenght. I should start a trhead on that too...)

[TruthSeeker]

Maybe I should have posted this in "Culture&Lifestyles"? :huh:

I'm sorry about my confused mind. I'm just used with another forums that had a "Free Thoughts" section, and I would often put the ambiguous threads in that section.

I guess this trhead also has to do with Psychology too. So I'm really confused to where to put it right now. :lol:

[scameter]

:) Don't be confused my friend, it's perfectly fine. I trust Thomas's wisdom to put it where he deems appropriate, which he very well can do. I think your situation is entirely unfortunate; you should be able to live your life as you wish, not confined t obligations you feel are needed of you, even though they are not. This is often the detrement of desire.

[locomotive]

what comes to my mind is that you didn't care about yourself but you do care about your baby and since it is a part of you, you change your attitude whitch is probable what you are revering to as strength. what do you think?

[TruthSeeker]

"Strength" is basically intergrity, self-confidence, motivation and determination...

[Thomas Knierim]

TruthSeeker: Having a child gave me a sense of self that I had never experienced before. I'm incredibly more outgoing, silly and outspoken since my child was born.

That is interesting. Maybe it is because you are a very young parent. Perhaps it gives you a sense of achievement.

TruthSeeker: Since my child was born, I have only a fraction of free time left! He takes a lot of my time even tough I'm not even the one who is breastfeeding him!

Don't worry, they will not stay like that forever. Your child needs a lot of attention right nor and it will need even more attention when it has passed its first birthday. It will be like that for maybe two or three years. Things will get better, i.e. you will have more time, when he starts going to the kindergarten. The child will then slowly become more independent.

Since you're only 22 you will probably have plenty of time to change the world later. :D

Cheers, Thomas

[TruthSeeker]

That is interesting. Maybe it is because you are a very young parent. Perhaps it gives you a sense of achievement.
Yes. I've always known it would give me a sense of achievement, and that's one of the reasons why I pursued it. The big thing is that family is very important for me. I like family. That's all that I used to think about when I left mine and came to Canada. Work was almost irrelevant to nme at the time. Ironically, now that I have a family, I'm much more interesting in working.
(by "work"I also mean studying- though right now, I prefer much more to actualyl work for money)

Don't worry, they will not stay like that forever. Your child needs a lot of attention right nor and it will need even more attention when it has passed its first birthday. It will be like that for maybe two or three years. Things will get better, i.e. you will have more time, when he starts going to the kindergarten. The child will then slowly become more independent.
It's not so hard when my wife helps. But when she says she is tired and do nothing for hours, it can be pretty though... :sweat: :knockout:

Since you're only 22 you will probably have plenty of time to change the world later.
Yes, but unfortunately I'm very impatient...! :lol:

[scameter]

And the father did nothing at all, and thus should be saddled with every task forever. Truthseeker, you have forgotten, like most men who get married: when you get married, it's not a compromise. The woman reigns. Yes psyche, I'm evil. But it is true. You are then the woman's, you are hers to rule over. Men lose their power once married. They lose just about everything.

[TruthSeeker]

I actually took care of her throughout her entire pregnancy and managed to do school at the same time. Presently, I'm required to know 1,000 pages of rules and calculations for accounting and more then 500 terms for all my courses. I'm also required to write business plans. I've also tried to get a position in the student society, which I somehow failed, despite I distributed more then 500 fliers and put up about 100 posters. My competitors both put up 5 posters only and they didn't have a website nor any experience. Go figure.

Meanwhile, my wife stays at home taking care of my child. I often do the cleaning as well to help her. So... errrrr.... I'm kinda tired... :think: :duh: :(

[TruthSeeker]

Well, of course! But that doesn't mean I should stop working altogether! :o

[scameter]

Yes, it is said that it is all about the children; and essentially it is and should be. But, in actual marriage, it is about the wife, from the beginning of the marriage onward.

[scameter]

And his mind has undergone intense psychological changes.

[TruthSeeker]

who said you could stop working...it may have been a good thing you didn't get what you thought you wanted...school and work and home are enough for now...
I don't have a job. That's part of the issue...

you are both tired but her body has just undergone profound physiological changes...
I know. But she is the only one that can deal with that.

And his mind has undergone intense psychological changes.
Very true...

[TruthSeeker]

Yes, true. We both obviously have been going through some major changes. <_< -_-
:mellow:

[scameter]

both their minds have undegone extreme psychological changes...it is odd that you would mention it as if he were psychologically affected but she wasn't...what is she a 'cow'...

It is also odd that you would immediately assume that I meant she has undergone no psychological changes at all, which I never once said. Both have undergone psychological change, but you hadn't aknowledged the fact that having a child changed his life too, as if the woman doing what any female animal can do was the only possible effecter of change.

[TruthSeeker]

Yes, well....
I've heard quite a bit of extreme feminism from many nurses as well...
It is as if I was completely irrelevant to the child...

Nice.... :shakehead:

[scameter]

That is a common view of modern society. The woman is it, and if that woman is a mother, she is even moreso it. Men are only there to be used by the women. That was part of the problem my dad had with getting custody of me, which he only mostly accomplished until I became 14, when I chose to live with him entirely.

[TruthSeeker]

Well, women are not always "bad", ya know? It's just like any other form of "racism". You can have people racist to black people for example, but to retaliate and be racist to white people is just to redo the whole problem.

I like feminism. It's only when feminism puts men down that I don't like it. I think we should all be treated with equal respect. Not more for men, nor for women.

[scameter]

I agree. And I never said women are bad. To be honest, it is the system's fault for giving them sooo much power and giving men nothing except what they fight for, and even then in an argument, women will win unless the evidence against them is 100% that.