Platonic Friendships?

[Squish]

I'm a straight guy. I'm a guy's guy. I like football, BBQ'ing, camping, etc. and I like women. I enjoy hanging out with women, talking with women, and just experiencing everything women have to offer all together. I hang with the guys, but I've also got many friends that are women. In fact MOST of my friends are women. I have had a couple friends that have turned into lovers, and vice versa. Most however, are just friends and always have been. I hear people talk all the time about how that's "not possible". How one side or the other ALWAYS has feelings beyond friendship. To me that's just absurd. Why does it HAVE to be that way? Is it just that I'm oblivious to my friends liking me (seriously unlikely), or are people just afraid to try to explore what the other gender has to offer that they themselves may lack, and use that as an excuse?

[scameter]

I think it is the very latter option. People can't imagine life without sex and most definitely, men nor men-critisizing women cannot imagine men with female friends without at least some occasional sex, dating, or some hidden love. I think also that this is absurd. I think it is not very often that a man, especially, has female friends with hardly any sex, dating, or some hidden love, but I think it most definitely can happen, and that it is an excellent occurance and illustrates full well the man's love of women as women, beyond pure sex objects, or purely out of essentially thoughtless spouse love.

[WilliamMckeehan]

i think it depends on ur social behaviors if u have trouble talking to girls and dont have many girls that are friends ... once u do get them u feel or think u like them or they like u but it is 100% possible to have a girl as a friend a friend never has to be the same sex or even the same animal. my cat is one of my best friends. she always wants to be around me. just for the sake of being around me. friends come in many shapes and forms

[sonrisa]

I've always been able to be just frends with guys. Infact I have better relationships with my male buds than with boyfriends.

[Kether]

I have absolutely no problem with enjoying platonic friendships with the opposite sex - indeed, at least half of the people I consider to be my friends are female. These things aren't clear-cut; most personality differences are not gender-specific, and it is often best to not think of people's personalities as 'male' or 'female'. As Psyche said:
...it isn't about oppositeness as in 'opposite sex' it is about rapport...

[Smurf]

why is sexual attraction 'beyond friendship'...why is friendship so underrated...why is it said i 'just' want to be friends as if friendship is somehow less...


how pathetic our Human Race has become...

well it actually always has been pretty useless...

I wish that the world's common opinion was more open-minded, and free-thinking

[scameter]

To be honest, I think it is extremely amazing to discover that the ancient Greeks didn't have a seperation of homosexual and heterosexual; they simply let you do what you wished. If you wanted to have sex with a man (if you were a man), then a woman, it's your life, you should live it naturally. I think this is how platonic friendship should be too, as well as friendship in general. To me, as long as condoms are used, people should be able to have male and female friends, have sex with them or not, and nothing negative be said of it; actually, it should be thought of as positive and natural, because it is. This is one of the most ignorant things about fundamentalist Christians that I hate, them saying that homosexuality and bisexuality is unnatural; how is this possible? If it happened, it is natural and, from the church point of view, if a product of God's will. How could it be unnatural? But, aruging with them is like arguing with a brick wall. It is sad how Christianity has ended up.... But, this is my sentiment. :)

[Kether]

I agree, Scameter - anything that is, or is potential, is natural.
Society has made people squeamish towards sexuality, and such people are unlikely to want the kind of free love you describe - but there certainly is nothing wrong with it. Sexual behaviour is only wrong if it causes harm.

[scameter]

Indeed; if it disturbs harmony and involves the infliction of one's will upon another unwantedly, two things more incorrect of all.

[Smurf]

If you wanted to have sex with a man (if you were a man), then a woman, it's your life, you should live it naturally

indeed, the Ancient Spartans it was integrated into their society to be homosexual

Scam are the Fundamentalist Christians more present in America than Australia? cause there isn't really much activity here... sort of annoys me really I want something to get annoyed at :P

[scameter]

indeed, the Ancient Spartans it was integrated into their society to be homosexual

Moreso bisexual, especially in Athens and really in all of ancient Greece.

Scam are the Fundamentalist Christians more present in America than Australia? cause there isn't really much activity here... sort of annoys me really I want something to get annoyed at

Definitely.

[scameter]

Why?

[Smurf]

well you could get annoyed with people who end their sentences with a preposition...

haha :lol:

that felt good on the brain thanks Psyche :thumbsup:

Moreso bisexual, especially in Athens and really in all of ancient Greece.

yeah, all of Ancient Greece?

[scameter]

Indeed.

[scameter]

Lucifer was ideally beautiful.

[scameter]

But did Lucifer know of ancient Greece? :)

[Squish]

Did he have any friends?? :-)

[scameter]

lol All those demons and people he corrupted I guess, but friends usually choose to be so, they're not tortured into it. :D

[scameter]

Coerced.

[scameter]

The Screwtape Letters illustrate it very well to me. Yes, they choose to join him, but the demons and Satan himself can very much so influence and alter their minds and life to effect their "right" choice with less worry on the demons' part of their patient choosing the other side.

[TruthSeeker]

I'm a straight guy. I'm a guy's guy. I like football, BBQ'ing, camping, etc. and I like women. I enjoy hanging out with women, talking with women, and just experiencing everything women have to offer all together. I hang with the guys, but I've also got many friends that are women. In fact MOST of my friends are women. I have had a couple friends that have turned into lovers, and vice versa. Most however, are just friends and always have been. I hear people talk all the time about how that's "not possible". How one side or the other ALWAYS has feelings beyond friendship. To me that's just absurd. Why does it HAVE to be that way? Is it just that I'm oblivious to my friends liking me (seriously unlikely), or are people just afraid to try to explore what the other gender has to offer that they themselves may lack, and use that as an excuse?
Well.. I'm a straight guy too, and I just think you are insaaane!
Nah! Just kidding! :lol:

Yes, it is possible to just be friends and I've done it myself...

But to be honest, girls and guys are different and they are capable of fully enjoying a relationship through sex. And by that I don't mean just meaningless sex, but to really enjoy each other. So, to be honest with you, I myself am perfectly capable of having sex with a friend. Altough I wouldn't because I have a wife! LOL! :lol:

But seriously... there's nothing wrong with that. It's just our culture that sees that as "wrong". But that just depends on the person, really...

[scameter]

I agree; sex is perfectly natural, and doing it with a friend is also perfectly natural and is far from harmless; rather, it is pleasurable, and as long as attachment isn't seen in the act, it is fine.

[TruthSeeker]

Ever watched "Bob&Carol&Ted&Alice" :lol: :rofl:

[scameter]

:D

[MidnightSun]

Yes, sex is always good :D

[TruthSeeker]

Yes, indeed... :D
I don't know why people like oral sex though... :unsure:
I mean... it's not bad, but not great either... :ph34r:

Huumm... maybe if I keep trying... <_<

:lol:

[MidnightSun]

Hmm cant explain that scientifically too, but though i love it :D

[scameter]

Unfortunately, I wouldn't know, except what I've explored by myself. :(

[TruthSeeker]

Hmm cant explain that scientifically too, but though i love it*
Huuummm... what do you love abou tit?


EDIT: "about it"! LOL! :rofl:

[sahyo]

:lol:

[scameter]

:lol: I wish I knew what I love about tit, but I certainly don't, yet. B) :P

[CSwriter1]

I think it might be possible to have platonic friendships, it never happened for me.

I hated what the sex thing did to our relationships.
One week we are all in the field making forts and having a good time, and the next week everything got real crazy, boys and girls just couldn't have the fun they use to have with sex being an issue.

I really like being older and not so attractive, but darn if an elderly gentleman didn't get inappropriate with me, and he has a wife! I thought so highly of him until he put his hand in the wrong place, and now I am searching for a way to make it very clear I do not like his advances. I don't want to hurt his ego, but also don't want him to pursue me. This really bothers me!

Any way that is what happens every time I am freindly with a guy, unless he is much younger. There are some sexual rules I think we should follow. If someone has a mate, be loyal. Absolutely no fooling around with someone else's mate.

I really like guys, and wish I could enjoy their company without sex becoming an issue.

[MidnightSun]

I wish I knew what I love about tit, but I certainly don't, yet.

Tits shows that the baby will be fed well,thats why men like big tits :P

[TruthSeeker]

Tits shows that the baby will be fed well,thats why men like big tits
Indeed.... :o :lol: :rofl:

[TruthSeeker]

I hated what the sex thing did to our relationships.
One week we are all in the field making forts and having a good time, and the next week everything got real crazy, boys and girls just couldn't have the fun they use to have with sex being an issue.

I really like being older and not so attractive, but darn if an elderly gentleman didn't get inappropriate with me, and he has a wife! I thought so highly of him until he put his hand in the wrong place, and now I am searching for a way to make it very clear I do not like his advances. I don't want to hurt his ego, but also don't want him to pursue me. This really bothers me!

Any way that is what happens every time I am freindly with a guy, unless he is much younger. There are some sexual rules I think we should follow. If someone has a mate, be loyal. Absolutely no fooling around with someone else's mate.

I really like guys, and wish I could enjoy their company without sex becoming an issue.
Huumm.. I agree. I think men should be less sexual all the time. What I often like doing is developing many friendships and incorporating sex as an option but still leaving the relationship intact. (Of course I don't do this right now that I have a wife, but that has been my philosophy for a while.)

The reason why I like incorporating sex as something natural and acceptable in a friendship is because once you establish sex as something as casual as drinking a glass of wine together or going to the movies, then sex ceases to be a huge taboo and you are able to have a lot of fun regardless of whether you have sex or not.

Unfortunately, of course, many men still want to have sex. Many men can't think that way because they haven't had much sex themselves. That's why they have ti ask all their girl friends whether they would like to be their girlfriend. I know this for a fact because I used to be one of those until I had been going out with my wife for a little while.... ;)

[scameter]

:D

[MidnightSun]

Unfortunately, of course, many men still want to have sex.

Of course, and they always will.

[TruthSeeker]

Did you read in context?

Anyways... it really depends on where you are in life. I don't even think about sex nowadays. I'm just in a good position when it comes to sex (hehe... pun :lol: ). I'm now more focused on work, on doing something that is beneficial to society...

Sex was something of my teenager years. It was a goal to achieve. Now that I have plenty of it whenever I want, it ceased to be the focus of my attention.

[scameter]

Now that I have plenty of it whenever I want, it ceased to be the focus of my attention.

Of course, because now you have it, and no longer have to search for it, which is a large, large part of why men get married: a stable sex partner.

[buzzlightyear1982]

"because now you have it, and no longer have to search for it, which is a large, large part of why men get married: a stable sex partner."

What about those to look outside the marriage? What are your thoughts on that?

[scameter]

"To look outside the marriage"; what do you mean by this exactly? Having an affair?

[buzzlightyear1982]

Exactly...I work on an military and divorce on an military base has gone up ever since they started deploying soldiers to Iraq. The Jag office is so swamped there booked six month in advance...or more B)

[scameter]

<_< Ok?

[buzzlightyear1982]

Human nature is to seek out what we don't have and once we accomplish in finding what we don't have we continue to seek it out...were never happy with what we have when we have it! In others worlds...we wonder if there is something better out there...but the pice you pay for that wonder is more then were willing to give up nine times out of ten B) Dooes that help tou understand it a little better?

[scameter]

I understand that. But I don't understand where this plays into the previous discussion trend: I work on an military and divorce on an military base has gone up ever since they started deploying soldiers to Iraq. The Jag office is so swamped there booked six month in advance...or more.

[buzzlightyear1982]

Because you asked me if I was refering to cheating when I said ""To look outside the marriage"...and that was my answer saying yes B)

[scameter]

But, my question is, how did that say yes?

[buzzlightyear1982]

"I work on an military and divorce on an military base has gone up ever since they started deploying soldiers to Iraq."

That part was supose to imply that your answer was yes B)

[scameter]

:think: Somehow... How could increased divorce in the military account for the having of affairs?

[buzzlightyear1982]

Because dependance (husbands and wives) have them while there sponcer (the solder) is in Iraq B)

[scameter]

Ahhh, I see. You never said that. :)

[buzzlightyear1982]

Don't get me wrong...I've met many people who has known the one their married too ever since they were five or six. I believe there bond is much more stronger because they have a comfort zone developed because of those years they were 'friend' before their married lives began B)