Religion Put Conditions On Love

[Ter]

I am posting this here to hopefully discuss with people of the same view as I. I am looking for support and some answers to what life has thrown at me.

I am a lesbian and I have unfortunately fallen in love with a girl who's religion forbids us to be together.
When we met there was an instant connection and I knew from then on that I was going to fall for her if i wasn't careful. You see the problem was that she was "straight" and she had a boyfriend.
To make a very painful and long story short. We have been together for almost 6 months, she fought it for a really long time but always ended up with me. She says she's doing what feels "right", and what feels right is me. However, out of complete and utter fear, she has not broken up with her boyfriend or had the courage to speak out to her family and religion (Bahai Faith) She is almost certain that the religion will "kick her out" of the faith and take away her voting rights. You see her family and her religion seem to be one in the same, her mum is the head of the Bahai association (or something) so in losing the faith she fears she will in turn, lose her family.
This girl is the most self less, compassionate, loving, free willed person I know but this religion has turned her into and liar and a coward. It makes me sick that the fear of not being accepted is forcing her to be someone she isn't and to lie to those she loves. I believe that this girl is my soulmate and as much as I think I should walk away for fear of being shattered, I can't. But I believe in Karma and I'm starting to think that the way things are going and the fact that this poor boyfriend is being lied to over and over again is in turn going to come back to both of us.

If religion is supposed to teach unconditional love. then how can it tell her that she can't love me?

Should I walk away?

[scameter]

No, never walk away. Ever. If you indeed believe this woman to be your soulmate, and if she too loves you, then you both should approach her boyfriend and her family and discuss it with them. And, about religion, that is bullshit, excuse my language. NEVER allow any religion to hinder you from life. Religions are good for inspiration and, as i believe Marx said, to be the "opiate of the people", that is their only place; not in the place of life. Especially the current definition of religion being so narrow and dogmatic. Please please please, do not let religion or anything else stop you from being with your true love. True love doesn't come often, if it really even exists, and if you two have it for each other never let that go, for anyone or anything. From the first time i read your story this is exactly what hit my mind. i hope to everything in life that you will be allowed to live with your true love in freedom and purity ad honesty. Please, i beg you, do not let this slip. :)

[WilliamMckeehan]

Scameter is right i could have not said it better myself DO NOT GIVE UP TRUE LOVE FOR ANY REASON

LOVE comes in any shape or forum man or woman it doesnt matter it is the most powerful feeling there is ... love will make you do things u never thought you would do EVER

my advice to you is do whats best for your love if she cannot live without her religion or family dont make her but also let her make choices as well im not good with advice :blink: but in the end it is all up to you and her

just if it is true love dont give it up

the best of luck to you :boxing:

[scameter]

Thanks my friend. :) But please, don't take what i said merely on the acquainted merit of Will's compliment. Read what i said, live it for yourself, and then decide based on such evidence. NEVER give it up, if it is indeed genuine. Which is appears to me to be. :) And Will, you're right, but one edit: love is not the one most powerful or important thing, it is one on a list of myriad of things. But all are within life, all count within that precious triangle of life, humanity, and as a subuint of humanity but sill in the triangle, passion. :)

Excerpt from Walden - Henry David Thoreau
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear, nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to "glorify God and enjoy him forever."

I thought this GREATLY suited here. :)

[sahyo]

love is not the one most powerful or important thing, it is one on a list of myriad of things.

no

[scameter]

lol No what?

[sahyo]

hehe

no "love is not the one most powerful or important thing, it is one on a list of myriad of things."

[WilliamMckeehan]

thanks for the Edit Scameter :thumbsup:


asheera: :D i agree

[scameter]

:o asheera, i don't really know what to say... :D

Np Will. I hope i'm helping. :)

[Ronagon]

This girl is the most self less, compassionate, loving, free willed person I know but this religion has turned her into and liar and a coward.

This appears to be a contradiction.

But I have news for you: contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are faced with a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.

This means that she cannot be both a genuinely selfless, compassionate, loving, free-willed person and a liar and a coward. One of those premises (otherwise known as "basic assumptions") is wrong, no matter how right they might both seem.

One of them is the real her, and the other is really just a facade she puts on, most likely for strategic reasons.

Since the "genuinely selfless, compassionate, loving, free-willed" face of her personality does not most consistently explain her behavior but the "liar and coward" (which might just be your own biased judgment call and not really the truth) side does, I would say that the side which explains her most consistently is the real her... namely, the side that you find contemptible.

But as I hinted at earlier, this is not to say that she is actually contemptible. She might just be sorting things out, and you might just be trying to inconsiderately rail-road her into being what you need, rather than what she needs.

This is all just food for thought, in case you're so inclined to even taste it.

[deepakgang]

Religion was made by humans only. That girl could be the one who changed her religion to accept lesbians, and her mother could be proud of their religion. But only if they understood what these religions are made for.
Religions should be modified, and its high time all of them should be. Like in our school, our syllabus is modified when science advance.

Otherwise dont wait for it until its too late, just break her away- but it will be a little difficult.
I think you should give her a little time to realize her identity. Will she be happy with her boy or is it you that she truly belongs to be with. Dont decide it for her, let her realize it. And once she do it and if its to be with you, then theres nothing in this world to keep both of you away.

[scameter]

Do you consider yourself biased at all Ron?

[sahyo]

i don't really know what to say... :D


wingding... :thumbsup:



:D